TheDaves shit tip

Stop giving Kane & Lynch bad reviews.

2007-12-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

Ok, so there's drama in the world of video games right now. Gamespot, sorry ex-Gamespot editor Jeff Gerstmann, is rumoured to have been fired from his post for giving a game the site advertised a bad review. While i'm willing to believe this is the case but i'm not really ready to take to the streets about it yet. I mean how embarrassing is it gonna be all round if it turns out that he happened to get caught with drugs at work or leaking games onto usenet around the same time he reviewed Kane & Lynch. The review is kind of harsh as games reviews go and can be found here; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBD0cUeeEQc. The overall score was on the low side(6/10) of the average review score for this game, but it's not exceptionally low or out of line of the metacritic score(6.7/10).

Now onto the point of this post. Now wherever players get to post their own reviews of video games i'm seeing countless 0/10 or 1/10 scores from people that somehow think they're show support for Mr Gerstmann. Now the average user review score is 2.2/10 on metacritic and 2.6 on Gamespot, all with short and sweet comments taken straight from the review that apparently got Gerstmann fired. The people that are posting these reviews need to stop. People use review scores to help them when buying games and you're doing harm to them and the people that made the game. I know that if people read this, some would be now saying to themselves "good" at harming the developers. The developers did nothing wrong unless you count making a possibly forgettable game as wrong. If the rumour is true only the people at the top of gamespot and thier advertising partners can be to blame. This should not effect the customer, the game developers, not even the publishers.

So, quit giving this game bad misleading reviews because you're not harming anybody but the people that have nothing to do with the politics of this.

God and Gordon Brown Spirit of Dunkirk Powerwank Conspiracy

2007-07-02T02:12:00.001-07:00

Still working on the proper flood thing....

God and Gordon Brown Spirit of Dunkirk Powerwank Conspiracy

2007-07-02T02:12:00.000-07:00

Still working on the proper flood thing....

The Great Flood

2007-06-29T08:45:00.000-07:00

Nearly killed Danny's car and according to revver this was no accident.

2007-06-26T04:21:00.000-07:00

Everywhere is flooding because of the stupid, stupid rain. For about a mile after this video we couldn't get to 30mph. The first time we hit one of these fjords was going about 45, which is really more scary than it sounds.

Scienlology

2007-05-15T11:58:00.000-07:00

This video was originally made to tagstalk the Scientologists anti BBC propaganda on Youtube, but i've decided to push it all around the internets.

Too Long; Don't Watch

2007-04-11T07:17:00.000-07:00

Started a video blog type thingy on youtube. Here's a highlight and the full thing will be up as soon as it's ready.

full thing here: http://one.revver.com/watch/231647

testing

2006-08-02T12:13:00.000-07:00

Bookmark this video for the next time somebody asks you to explain bit-torrent to them

2006-07-28T18:13:00.000-07:00

Mentos Are For Noobs

2006-07-28T11:13:00.000-07:00

Fact.

Hedgehog

2006-07-22T18:49:00.000-07:00

The other day we made this

and found this

2006-07-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

No Reasonable Explanation

Yeah, i was bored, get over it.

Formats available: Windows Media (.wmv), Flash Video (.flv)

Dammit. So many people want to host my videos. This one, Blip.tv seems to be the bees knees. The search on the site works and i think adverts will too.

There's a good chance i'll get decent exposure on metacafe, but i don't really know if it's worth it. The community there isn't really into anything like our work. It all seems to be videos that have been around forever, getting reposted with another metal song without permission.

Testing some stuff

2006-07-17T11:25:00.000-07:00

A New Old Thingy

2006-07-16T09:29:00.000-07:00

Extreme Cool Magic Episode 1 - video powered by Metacafe

Bastards!

2006-07-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

We came up with an idea to make a dozen or so micro sketches and upload them all at once to revver.

The intention being that bored people would basically have no choice between our ugly mugs on the thumbnails on the revver frontpage and pictures of pretty girls. Then they would watch a few of our videos and decide to check out this blog, because we rawk teh mostest.

Unfortunately, Vegas crashed and took a bunch of unsaved sketches with it. This meaning that I have nothing to upload.

More unfortunately, several other people had the idea at the same time as us and have start uploading twenty or so 10 second clips of essentially nothing at all.

So now, people are gonna think our microsketches are nothing more than spam and not even watch them, and they'll think we stole the idea too. Bastards!

This Weeks Silliness

2006-07-13T17:37:00.000-07:00

Creative Drought

I'm pretty sure I'm physically addicted to Youtube. I spent two days doing nothing but trying to think of something funny.

Positive Discrimination ≠ Equal Opportunities

A miny rant by Sean about that part of applying for a job.

Paedophiles Everywhere!!1!

Introducing my ickle sister in a sketch about predators on the internet.

Ghost Hunters

The depressing thing about this sketch is that it's not even an exxageration of the show "Most Haunted". What was initially intended was for us to sit and do absolutely nothing for ten minutes. Unfortunately i spotted an "orb" which sparked 10 minutes of ad-lib-ing. Now I won't even be able to believe that the kids on telly are convinced anymore.

YouTube comments lol

2006-07-08T16:52:00.000-07:00

Serieses LOL!

2006-07-05T12:15:00.002-07:00

Introducing Mind Body and Kick Arse Moves

and Episode 2 of Extreme Cool Magic

Loads of Videos

2006-07-04T11:27:00.000-07:00

Need to Comment

Don't Vote

How Was Work?

Bin Laden Di'nt Blow up Da Projects!

Extreme Cool Magic Episode 1

Two of a whole bunch.

2006-06-26T18:07:00.000-07:00

Sorry for tardiness. i'm knackered.

First video is a little rant at people that try to be anti-racist. It's something i've argued with people about for ages, but i've never managed to put it so gracefully as sean does here...

Second video, is a video, about making videos. Fact.

Peace out and shit. 'til the morrow.

Context

2006-06-18T11:53:00.001-07:00

Basically, my life is crazay. Here's me trying to explain away dressing the dog like a person.

LoL.. It's a dog in a T-shirt

2006-06-17T14:21:00.000-07:00

A few days ago, I was emo enough to make a pretty personal post about my dying dog. Immediately i felt i probably should take it down. Like when i tried to start a war on the revver forum, or made an incredibly awkward video about government, racism and money. That last video happened to play off a video by a man i'm a genuinly big fan of, who goes by the name of Sean 'Bedlam' Burke. He saw the video and felt then need to post a slightly condescending comment (No offence, i just have low self esteem XD ).

Anyway, enough of the awkwardness...

My dog is acting pretty normal now. Back when i made that post we all thought it was his last night with us. Now though, he's pretty much beaten the infection and runs round getting in the way and generally being a pain in the arse. Good stuff.

By the way. The vet told us that putting a T-shirt on him would stop infections from him licking himself.

Old Tape

2006-06-14T09:56:00.000-07:00

We came up with the idea for a website of us doing silly things on video well over a year ago. We've two full video tapes of the old Jackass rip-offery teenage boys are famous for putting up on the internet. It's bizarre that I see kids acting up on tape, as ripping off jackass. When Jackass went big, me feelings were that it's nothing new. As poor kids before our parents could afford a Nintendo, we were stealing shopping trolleys and crashing them and jumping off buildings. Never on tape, but it's how we entertained ourselves back in the day.

Anyway, before i turned into a snooty cunt that tried to make political parodies so obscure they don't even seem to be comedy anymore; We blew things up, and hurt eachother for fun. We have hours of it, mostly shite that could be cut down to a tolerable 5 minute compilation with some generic royalty free rock music in the background.

I'm currently working on a sketch, but i just can't bring myself to talk to myself, so i don't know how long it will be until it reaches the internet. Until then, enjoy this.

Rightfully Emo

2006-06-13T17:09:00.000-07:00

Things are pretty fucked right now.

On sunday, my dog Alfred escaped. not an odd thing for him. He does it all too often.

He was running round up the street, presumably to the fields where he chases hares. For some reason he tried to jump over a wrought iron gate. He didn't quite make it, he implaed himself on a blunted spike and hung until somebody found him and lifted him off. Whoever it was who rescued him went to phone a vet, and during this time Alfred managed to get to his feet and run away down the fields. He lost a lot of blood, i'd guess a couple of pints. The street needed hosing down, and there was a trail of blood that went about 100 metres before ending at what i presume to be be two blood clots. About a dozen of us searched for four or five hours and couldn't find any signs of him. I ended up giving a farmer my phone number and asking him to phone if he saw anything.

That night i'd come to believe he'd collapsed in the rape seed or something and we wouldn't see him alive again.

On monday, more or less 24 hours after the original incident i got a phone call from the farmer. He said he'd just seen Alfred run accross his yard and behind one of the farm buildings. I set off straight away, in the rain, to the farm to see if i could track him down. When i got there, somebody pointed me in the direction they saw him go. He was lying in a pile of leaves in a sort of barn thing. I'm presuming he was in shock and dehydrated from the hot weather. We managed to get him to stand up and walk to a van. He didn't look as bad as we were expecting, the wound was right next to his peen and didn't look to have damaged any vital organs.

Once we got him home, i figured it'd probably be best to give him milk with a little sugar in, to replace the blood he lost. He drank up about a pint of it and managed to get some sleep in a comfortable bed, while my mam went about organising getting him to the vets. It was too late last night, so we took him in this afternoon. The vet said the wound was infected, took blood samples and shit and gave us some antibiotics to give him.

A few hours ago he was crying, so i took him down the garden to see if he needed to piss or anything. The poor sod kept tripping over the stones and could barely cock his leg up. He ended up pissing with his legs in a position that i supposed can only be described as half way through a stride, with his back legs as far apart as possible. I think he figured this was the only way he could piss without getting it on his legs.

When he got back in, he went to his bed and was ok for a while until he started crying again. He's been moaning and hyperventilating pretty badly, until he got up and fell asleep by my mums side. Now he's breathing pretty normally again.

The whole situation is pretty fucked up. He's 15 years old and he suffers when he runs too much. Now he's fighting infection and an open stab wound, i'm not even sure if he'll make the night.

I'm gonna end by saying how thankful i am to all the people who helped track him down and rescue him. I'm sorry i neglected him. If i walked him as much as i was supposed to, he wouldn't have to run away on his own. He wouldn't have injured himself, and a street full of people wouldn't have had to see such a disturbing scene.

I shouldn't do this

2006-06-09T18:37:00.000-07:00

Made me laugh.

Maybe i should start a second blog or something, just for this guy

Edit: unlike me, you people probably have lives so won't understand this.

Here's how it is. On YouTube there are certain people who have achieved a sort of celebrity status. SexxieBeBe for dancing like a whore. EmoKid21Ohio for being a whiney little pussy. BowieChick for being a glebe.

This guy, Rendier has been banned several times for calling everyone cunts.

Everything Sucks

2006-06-09T07:29:00.000-07:00

Over the last few days, me and Sean made a few sketches to upload to Revver and put on here. I was running low on hard-drive space so i played around with the codecs used to rip the video from the camcorder.

Basically the main feature, and the funnier but canned version of it are lost forever. Ben and Sean decided it'd be a good idea to talk shit on camera for an hour- recording over two days work. I can't blame it all on them, i fucked the codecs but meh.

PS, here's what I could salvage

Propaganda

2006-06-07T18:47:00.000-07:00

As it says in the video. The original Jesse Macbeth film was uploaded and featured on Youtube in three different parts, then deleted so quickly i couldn't get the third. Maybe i shouldn't have wasted 30 seconds leaving a sarcastic comment, meh. If you don't know about this guy, you might wanna check out the original, otherwise this won't make much sense at all...

Barbecue Video-Review

2006-06-01T05:39:00.000-07:00

You know when you're intoxicated and you have that awesome idea? well we followed through on it. The video turned out to be quite long or quite short, so we ended doing two versions. The long version, with about 50 seconds cut out much to my dismay was edited by Sean and still wieghs in at about six and a half minutes. I figured most people wouldn't last 'til the advert at the end with only this version, so i made a sort of preview clip to put on here. You can probably stay awake through it, and even reach the ad for some better stuff. I'm not allowed to say "click the ad" by the way. Click Fraud is serious and i don't wanna lose my account >_<

Full Video> http://revver.com/video/27371/13046

Super Awesome News

2006-06-01T05:14:00.000-07:00

I finally got word back from EA. they're now my favourite publisher evar.

They say it's ok to put videos from games up on the internet, but it's upto the site if it's allowed. So basically EA gave me permission to use Revver.com. Dunno if i can be bothered to get in contact with revver though. I almost feel bad for bothering them last time about it. Maybe in week or so, I have an idea for a sketch that requires Battlefield: Vietnam.

I Even Make Myself Cringe

2006-05-24T01:37:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about getting in on the Youtube video blog fad. First off i need a camera, and i didn't feel like asking to borrow the camcorder 'so i can upload videos of myself to the internet'. I have three or four quid scattered around my desks in here and that's gotta last me until i get a new job, which may take a while. I could spend it on spice or pop, or i could buy batteries for my digital camera. I didn't know if my cameras was shite or not so i went looking round my PC for any movies i'd recorded with it and i found one: A movie which was intended to go on the internet from conception.

The movie is not exactly good, but that's irrelevent. It's fully legal, so i can actually upload it without noobs bitching me.

While watching it i realised a few things. I can't sing, and Bo was right; we have really nerdy ideas of what might be fun. While most kids my age are taking drugs and breaking laws, we went on a cross country bike ride.

So, without further ado. Me and Sneakers riding down the mud track near the cricket fields....

I have an overwhelming urge to post this video on my blog.

2006-05-22T22:27:00.000-07:00

I have no idea at all why

So uhhhh. When youtube sells out....

2006-05-21T20:16:00.000-07:00

This is a post about the free-video-hosting-in-a-snazzy-Flash-player-
on-a-site-owned-by-really-nice-people, sites that keep popping up all over.

---I'm just testing ways to not piss people offright now >_<
(click to view)

---

So I don't even have any proper videos to upload. that's not the point.

I did make a video on Battlefield 2s Battlefield Recorder. I highlight that because as far as I understand EA/DICE support the machinima scene, Battlefield Recorder being a symptom of this?

As you can see, it's been on Youtube for 5 months and there hasn't been a complaint in 2000 odd views. I presume it was rejected by Revver because it was made using the battlefield 2 engine and stuff, but surely fair use laws allow that regardless of DICEs point of view. Either that or it was categorised under "suck" by the people who run Revver.

A shame really because i was looking forward to being able to upload lots of videos nobody will ever watch. I even like the way it's funded. For all i care they can keep all the profits. Free hosting with the ability to embed clips in websites and the only adverts actually come after the feature, is super awesome enough for me. This method also gives me a little faith that after the honeymoon period there won't be any change to the service. The owners won't need to realise they owe investors for keeping the site alive for a year. They'll never have to try and gather much more than the running costs to stay afloat.

Finally there's google...

I don't know what's going on there. I think it's something to do with the island on Lost and a wormhole into a stoned hippies daydream.

-------------------------------------------------

Revver Battlefield 2 update #1

I got an email from revver saying my battlefield 2 movie did breach copyright laws. I've written an email to EA asking what their stance is and if i'm allowed to put videos of the game on the internet. Now it's just a waiting game to see if and what reply i get from EA.

Revver Battlefield 2 update #2

Umm, still no reply. When I try to log into my EA games account i get forwarded to a site called pogo.com or something. Is this their way of avoiding me reminding them they said 24 hours? I really wouldn't have minded if they didn't know where the line is between fair use and copyright infringement when it comes to computer game footage.

I checked Gamespot too. A site ran for a profit which allows paying members to upload their own video game movies. Unfortunately i can't find any legal advice there, because everytime i look at the monitor i get a page telling me i have to pay to do anything.

Revver Battlefield 2 update #3 & #4

About 12 hours ago i wrote to Revver asking if indeed it was the game footage that infringed copyright. (I have a sneaking suspiscion that rather than actually screening, they presume any machinima contains the song 'let the bodies hit the floor' by Drowning Pool, and block it from the public.) I told them that I've been hard at work researching the legalities, and I can't find anything other than Gamespot.com (Alexa rating 180) promotes uploading machinima onto their own servers, and it's no secret they're even making a profit from doing so. Still waiting on a reply.

One thing that made me hella happy today was a private message from another machinima producer. Paul from machinima.org said he came accross my story and wanted to mention it in his blog. So, uhhh yeah, cool. I figure the more talking about this we do; the more likely publishers will put something in thier EULA instead of hinting by using inhouse teams making machinima to promote games and putting in features to record and edit gameplay.

Revver Battlefield 2 last update

I got an email back from Revver. It explains that licensing agreements basically say I'm not allowed to make a profit. Kinda makes sense because working out how the money should be shared isn't really worth the hassle.

I'll still continue to make machinima, but i'll have to host it on google instead. Well, until people sort out license agreements for 2006 anyway.

EAconomics

2006-04-23T04:59:00.000-07:00

They kind of pissed me off right now.

I keep getting these ads telling me to buy the "booster pack" euro force. Ten dollars for three new maps. That's right, three, not enough to warrant a digit.

I'm confused about the reasoning behind this. I mean, like, i know it's to get every last penny they can squeeze out of loyal fans of the series.

OK, the thing that pisses me off is; Battlefield 2 isn't ready for this. i don't know about everyone else who works like this, with episodes being released over the internet, but i do know some.

Two other games i'm a big fan of are Half-life 2 and Guild wars. Both of these games have a working method of patching and such. You could say they have my blessing to release in bits, because they don't piss me off.

On the other hand. I just reinstalled battlefield 2, patched it with the patch, I had to look hard for, to try and find a HTTP source that wasn't a pay service or slow as an episode of lost.

I then installed Battlefield 2: special forces. When i tried to join some games, after waiting well over 5 minutes for the games to load, i was kicked and banned, from two servers. I haven't so much as explored the install directory so i'm gonna go ahead and presume this is because i didn't install in the right order. So i've started installing the patch again, and this is why i'm writing this. Whatever the system the use to patch games is locks me out of doing much more than typing for ten minutes.

I guess what i've been trying to say is. I'll never pay for such small updates unless it's at least convenient. Battlefield has never been about convenience. I can't even play the game until, I find the patches an mods and install them, then i have at least 15 minutes doing absolutely nothing while the game patches and configures shaders.

Just look at other games people. Call of Duty and Half-Life don't even make you so much as click anything while they download and organise Levels and minimods. It's as simple as joining a game. Guild Wars and many other MMOs patch on the fly too.

K, ready to try again now. i know this is badly written, so, meh.

Conclusion: EA, do some research, or at least try and see things from a gamers perspective before trying to rip us off <_<

testing youtube coalness

2006-04-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

i made my soup rawk by giving it flowers

2005-11-08T19:56:00.000-08:00

-ish

i couldn't sleep because i be hungry as a person who's only eaten a chip butty and some toast all day. so then like i made a cheapo kwik-save cuppa soup 'cause i couldn't be arsed to do proper (campbells rocking condensed) soup. then i realised, WE DON'T GOT NO BREAD!!1. not even cheap happy shopper crap.

now because the cuppa soup (or however it's spelt) is cheap, it was just salt yellow water. i then put some flour in and it rawkzors.

now when will you learn to stop reading these?

An Open Letter to Fellow Journos Regarding Jack Thompson - Kotaku

2005-11-08T15:52:00.000-08:00

An Open Letter to Fellow Journos Regarding Jack Thompson - Kotaku: "Regarding Jack Thompson, we all know three things:
A). He is a moron.
B). Our readers despise him.
C). See above.

At a certain point however, a man moves beyond someone to be despised and becomes someone merely to ignore. That time has come.

Currently, Thompson’s legal career might be kaputz, and I really could care less. Even if the President of the United States accuses Thompson of treason and threatens to deport the man, I don’t give a rat’s ass. Don’t tell me, tip me or let me know. Personally and professionally, I could care less.

Fellow journos, I have a proposition: Let’s not cover Jack Thompson. Is he worth it? Couldn’t we be spending our time covering something worthwhile and constructive? Even writing this pains me, because I know I could be blogging about a million other things. A million better things. I can’t speak for the other Kotaku editors, but I am not going to blog the guy ever again.

Granted, Thompson has filled a role in the gaming inverse. He’s our Darth Vader. Gamers hate Jack because of everything he represents. I hate Thompson because he wastes time and energy. Every time he does something boneheaded or says something idiotic, I have to shift through those posts to get proper gaming news. So, for God’s sake everyone, please let’s turn a blind eye, a cold shoulder. He won’t go away, but we won’t be giving him a forum to spread his crap. And if enough of us do it, he’ll face something he fears worse than Hot Coffee Part 2. He’ll face anonymity.
Permalink"

n00b. the term is couldn't care less. i know no-one will ever read this but, i could care less about eating, i could care less about dying, i could care less about battlefield 2, i couldn't care less about some ambulance chaser. call yourself a journo!?

my car pwns you

2005-11-05T09:02:00.000-08:00

so uhhh, where is this picture?

here?

if yeah, that'll do me :happy:

wtf? no happy!?

jus testing

2005-11-05T08:53:00.000-08:00

1,2,3

ghey story

2005-11-05T08:46:00.000-08:00

A farmer needed an extra hand to help on his farm. One young man came to interview for the job. “What are your qualifications?” the farmer asked. “I can sleep when the wind blows, “ the young man said. This simple reply confused the farmer, but he was desperate for help and the young man was hired.

The young man was a diligent worker through the harvest season, but the farmer still questioned his answer.

Autumn ended and the first cold storm of winter came late one night. The farmer panicked as the winds began to blow. Calling the young man for help, the farmer grabbed his coat and pulled heavy boots on his feet. He was disappointed to find the young man asleep in bed at a time like this. Grudgingly he ventured out alone planning to shuffle all of the animals in the barn and then fix that last hole in the roof. He mumbled about the young man sleeping and was sure all the farm equipment was left standing in the field, collecting rust from the snow.

However, when the farmer reached the barn all the animals were tucked safely inside. In fact, clean hay had already been set out for the new day. Not a single hole could be found in the roof, and the tractor was parked perfectly in the shed.

“Who could have done it?” the farmer wondered. And then he realized what the young man’s answer meant, “I can sleep when the wind blows.”

thanks to gripper

still don't get it

msn sucks teh balls

2005-11-05T08:02:00.000-08:00

i kinda lyke am posting here because i'm upset at msn blogging shit sucking balls. blogs suck balls anyway, but because i wasn't satisfied being unsatisfied on that so i came here to realise blogs suck teh balls more than microsoft networks. 'k?